When I first took the pictures on the left, it was humiliating to see them! How had I let myself get so out of control and unhappy? I dressed in baggy shirts & yoga pants 24/7. I didn't want to leave the house or do anything really. I hated what I'd become.
I like who I'm becoming now. I'm proud of the work I've done but it's still a learning process for me. I'm struggling with eating enough to compensate for what I'm doing workout wise. My weight stalls every few weeks, so I try and increase my calories some. I'm trying to learn what works for my body.
The past 2 weeks I've experienced a great deal of stress. It has taken it's toll on me and I let it. I gave myself permission to "drown" in my grief for awhile, but I made myself get back to it this week. I had my mourning period and now it's time to move past it & get on with the rest of my life. This is so huge for me. Thanks to the change in my inner dialogue, some truly wonderful friends and my ever-supportive family, I have perservered.
Due to the same stressful situation, I gave up on my running as well the past two weeks. I have decided to go back a few weeks on Couch to 5k and do it over again. I like that I'm not feeling like a failure about my decision. I want to build up my endurance some more and make sure that I'm not pushing myself too hard. The 28 minute running interval on week 8 was a struggle for me and instead of backing off, I let it get in my head. I have to put this all into perspective - 2 months ago, I couldn't even run 5 minutes, let alone 28. I've come so far since then.
I have taken some updated pictures this month. I see a slight difference in them, although not as big as I'd like. However, I'm happy that I'm still moving in the right direction. I'm noticing my saddlebags are noticeably smaller now; I kept wondering why my two year old wasn't sitting as comfortably on my hip anymore. I'm whittling away her seat. HA!
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