I'm putting it out there - I've been struggling! I wish I could say it's been because of the holidays, but it started weeks before that. My weight has been yo-yo'ing, not a lot, but it's gone up none the less. My days start out super clean and by mid-afternoon, I'm into the girls granola bars or Rice Krispie treats. I'm reverting back to my "solve it with food" mentality and it's NOT ok. But when I have a super snacky afternoon, I try and get myself back on track as quickly as possible. I eat my pre-prepped dinners and I wake up the next morning and start fresh. It's not ideal, but it's keeping me from losing all control of my eating plan.
But the holidays have set me back as well. I'm dreading stepping on that scale tomorrow morning. About the only thing that might save me, is I've kept on top of my running. I even made myself run on Christmas after I dropped my girls off with their dad. On Tuesday, I will become a Couch-to-5k graduate! It's taken me longer than the allotted 9 weeks, but that's ok. I didn't push myself and I think that's the only reason I didn't give up and quit. I actually downloaded the 5k-to-10k app today! YIKES! I must say, it has me a little intimidated.
I've kinda embarked on a new endeavor to being "clean". I've started making my own beauty & cleaning supplies. I've had several successes and also a few fails. I'm loving my homemade toothpaste, body wash, eye make-up remover, face wash, & body butter. I did not, however, love my shampoo. I know I didn't give it enough time to get through the yucky period, but I just couldn't wait it out. My hair looked awful! I decided to switch to a somewhat "cleaner" store bought alternative; I know it's not as great as homemade, but it has to be better than what I was using.
I still want to try making my own deodorant and certain make-up products, like mascara & bronsing powder. I've found a few alternatives to cleaner make-up that I'm wanting to try as well.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Before & Now
When I first took the pictures on the left, it was humiliating to see them! How had I let myself get so out of control and unhappy? I dressed in baggy shirts & yoga pants 24/7. I didn't want to leave the house or do anything really. I hated what I'd become.
I like who I'm becoming now. I'm proud of the work I've done but it's still a learning process for me. I'm struggling with eating enough to compensate for what I'm doing workout wise. My weight stalls every few weeks, so I try and increase my calories some. I'm trying to learn what works for my body.
The past 2 weeks I've experienced a great deal of stress. It has taken it's toll on me and I let it. I gave myself permission to "drown" in my grief for awhile, but I made myself get back to it this week. I had my mourning period and now it's time to move past it & get on with the rest of my life. This is so huge for me. Thanks to the change in my inner dialogue, some truly wonderful friends and my ever-supportive family, I have perservered.
Due to the same stressful situation, I gave up on my running as well the past two weeks. I have decided to go back a few weeks on Couch to 5k and do it over again. I like that I'm not feeling like a failure about my decision. I want to build up my endurance some more and make sure that I'm not pushing myself too hard. The 28 minute running interval on week 8 was a struggle for me and instead of backing off, I let it get in my head. I have to put this all into perspective - 2 months ago, I couldn't even run 5 minutes, let alone 28. I've come so far since then.
I have taken some updated pictures this month. I see a slight difference in them, although not as big as I'd like. However, I'm happy that I'm still moving in the right direction. I'm noticing my saddlebags are noticeably smaller now; I kept wondering why my two year old wasn't sitting as comfortably on my hip anymore. I'm whittling away her seat. HA!
Monday, September 8, 2014
That was then, this is now
Do you ever look at yourself and wonder, "How did I let myself go this badly?". That was me almost 8 months ago.
* My marriage of 17 years had finally dissolved into nothing.
* I had 4 energetic girls and I had no energy to keep up with them. I was also slowly watching them pick up my bad habits. After school was snacking galore, and it wasn't healthy snacks; it was the junk that I'd been plying my body with for years - chips, crackers, cookies, diet soda. I was noticing my oldest two starting to get chubbier and it was terrifying. I remember being that chubby kid in elementary school and I didn't want that for my girls.
* I felt awful, I was tired all of the time, my clothes were getting tighter by the week. I was eating junk and drinking more diet sodas per day than I care to admit to.
Welcome to my rock bottom!
And I had excuses, good excuses I thought, for why I couldn't work out or eat right. I didn't have time, it was too hard, I was too tired; I'm a single mom for goodness sakes! But you know, that's all they were. They were excuses! What it really boiled down to was fear. I was afraid of changing, I hate change. There was a lot of comfort in everything always being the same. I thought it would make me powerless, but was I ever wrong.
So, on January 24, 2014, I drank my very last diet soda. I gave them up cold turkey. For some reason, the caffeine withdrawal headaches were easier to manage this time; you see, I'd tried to give up sodas before, but it just never stuck. Maybe this time it was just mind over matter.
I had an online friend who promised me I'd eventually stop craving them. It took six l-o-n-g months, but I can finally say that I don't even think about them anymore. My beloved Dr. Pepper is just a distant memory.
The very next day, January 25th, I downloaded the My Fitness Pal app to my iPod. I entered every single thing I put in my mouth into that program. It became second nature to me, it was automatic.
And I got moving. I started out doing The Biggest Loser workout and then Jillian Michaels 30 day shred.
Around March, I started transitioning into clean eating. Such a simple concept when you think about it - whole, natural foods with little to no processing, unrefined foods, eat 5-6 small meals a day. I could handle that!
Now, I wouldn't call myself 100% clean. I enjoy the occasional "treat". And if I'm being real, there are times, when I go completely unclean.
I can feel when I'm not eating as clean as I should, I have an actual physical reaction to it; my stomach gets upset, I feel sluggish, just downright awful. And it also either stalls my weight loss or I gain.
I have also moved on from the workout videos. On July 10th, I downloaded the Couch to 5k app and on the 14th, I started the program. I swore I would never be a runner; the only time I would run on purpose, is if I was being chased. But now, going into week 9, I'm actually enjoying it. Now that school is back in session, this self proclaimed night owl, gets up at 5am to run before my girls even wake up. I run 3 days a week and on the other days, I do Tabata, weight training or some other kind of workout circuit. I have found tons of them on Pinterest and a particular favorite is He and She Eat Clean. They also have tons of recipes.
I'll let you in on a little secret. Fitness people are awesome! They never cease to amaze me with their openness to share what they know. They share their tips & tricks, their meal plans, their workout circuits. *My particular favorite tip has to do with meal prepping. Spend maybe an hour or two, one day a week, and fix all of your meals for the entire week right down to your snacks. Portion everything into containers or baggies and you're done. You mess up your kitchen once a week; unless your house is like mine and your children use silverware for everything (like eating a banana) and use about 4 different drinking glasses per day. My favorite part is that you don't have to think about what you're going to eat. You don't have to worry about being hungry and grabbing something unhealthy.*
To date, I've lost 44.8 pounds. I'm over halfway to my goal of 145 pounds. Next week, I should break into the 170's; that's a number I haven't seen on the scale since I don't know when. And when I reach my next 10 pound goal of 175, I'm treating myself to another reward. This is NOW!
* My marriage of 17 years had finally dissolved into nothing.
* I had 4 energetic girls and I had no energy to keep up with them. I was also slowly watching them pick up my bad habits. After school was snacking galore, and it wasn't healthy snacks; it was the junk that I'd been plying my body with for years - chips, crackers, cookies, diet soda. I was noticing my oldest two starting to get chubbier and it was terrifying. I remember being that chubby kid in elementary school and I didn't want that for my girls.
* I felt awful, I was tired all of the time, my clothes were getting tighter by the week. I was eating junk and drinking more diet sodas per day than I care to admit to.
And I had excuses, good excuses I thought, for why I couldn't work out or eat right. I didn't have time, it was too hard, I was too tired; I'm a single mom for goodness sakes! But you know, that's all they were. They were excuses! What it really boiled down to was fear. I was afraid of changing, I hate change. There was a lot of comfort in everything always being the same. I thought it would make me powerless, but was I ever wrong.
So, on January 24, 2014, I drank my very last diet soda. I gave them up cold turkey. For some reason, the caffeine withdrawal headaches were easier to manage this time; you see, I'd tried to give up sodas before, but it just never stuck. Maybe this time it was just mind over matter.
I had an online friend who promised me I'd eventually stop craving them. It took six l-o-n-g months, but I can finally say that I don't even think about them anymore. My beloved Dr. Pepper is just a distant memory.
The very next day, January 25th, I downloaded the My Fitness Pal app to my iPod. I entered every single thing I put in my mouth into that program. It became second nature to me, it was automatic.
And I got moving. I started out doing The Biggest Loser workout and then Jillian Michaels 30 day shred.
Around March, I started transitioning into clean eating. Such a simple concept when you think about it - whole, natural foods with little to no processing, unrefined foods, eat 5-6 small meals a day. I could handle that!
Now, I wouldn't call myself 100% clean. I enjoy the occasional "treat". And if I'm being real, there are times, when I go completely unclean.
I can feel when I'm not eating as clean as I should, I have an actual physical reaction to it; my stomach gets upset, I feel sluggish, just downright awful. And it also either stalls my weight loss or I gain.
I have also moved on from the workout videos. On July 10th, I downloaded the Couch to 5k app and on the 14th, I started the program. I swore I would never be a runner; the only time I would run on purpose, is if I was being chased. But now, going into week 9, I'm actually enjoying it. Now that school is back in session, this self proclaimed night owl, gets up at 5am to run before my girls even wake up. I run 3 days a week and on the other days, I do Tabata, weight training or some other kind of workout circuit. I have found tons of them on Pinterest and a particular favorite is He and She Eat Clean. They also have tons of recipes.
I'll let you in on a little secret. Fitness people are awesome! They never cease to amaze me with their openness to share what they know. They share their tips & tricks, their meal plans, their workout circuits. *My particular favorite tip has to do with meal prepping. Spend maybe an hour or two, one day a week, and fix all of your meals for the entire week right down to your snacks. Portion everything into containers or baggies and you're done. You mess up your kitchen once a week; unless your house is like mine and your children use silverware for everything (like eating a banana) and use about 4 different drinking glasses per day. My favorite part is that you don't have to think about what you're going to eat. You don't have to worry about being hungry and grabbing something unhealthy.*
To date, I've lost 44.8 pounds. I'm over halfway to my goal of 145 pounds. Next week, I should break into the 170's; that's a number I haven't seen on the scale since I don't know when. And when I reach my next 10 pound goal of 175, I'm treating myself to another reward. This is NOW!
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